Wow! Today's devotional from ODB lays out a lot of things that I thought were just cultural norms of interaction, but that are actually God ordered for the Christian.
Listed are
- Living in harmony with each other as Christians
- Being Sympathetic to others
- Being Loving
- Being Compassionate and humble.
- Not repaying insult for insult
For whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and deceitful speech. He must seek peace and pursue it. Because Gods eyes are on the righteous.
It says who is going to harm us if we are eager to do good. This is so true in interaction with people if we were courteous, humble, loving, sympathetic, and respectful a lot of people would not resent us.
It encourages Christians to be convinced in their hearts that Jesus is Lord of their lives. So if there are truly malicious people who would hate and hurt even after you've been courteous, humble, loving, sympathetic, and respectful then you are reserved to Jesus' teaching of humility and repaying good for the hurt and hate.
We are then encouraged to have a good answer for our hope and faith but also. But then to give this good answer "with gentleness and respect". Keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak of maliciously about our attempts at good behavior in Christ would be ashamed of 'slandering' this life style. For it is better to suffer for doing the right thing than because we did the wrong thing. |
Today's reading came from James 11 . And this one talks about taming the tongue.
The part where it says that what great infernos are started by a simple words. Then it goes on to tell us that we can should not bless God with our mouths and then turn around and curse people. I know this is so true for me right now. I may not curse people but the spirit in which I say some stuff about people or events directly contradicts what I say in good times.
The chapter and the reading end with a way to make sure that our tongue has the best effect. We should weigh our words by this standard,
" James 3:17
17But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peaceloving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere." (New International Version)
"
So if something I say does not create peace, is inconsiderate, is not submissive, is not full of mercy and good fruit, is not impartial or is insincere, then it is probably the wrong tongue of fire. The exciting thing about this standard is that all else that fits this standard is the right tongue of fire!
Amazing how something can be so plain put! This is something that I need to put into practice.
New International Version (NIV), Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society |
Today's devotional was from Hebrews 12:12-24 . Actually, I just clicked Hebrews 12:1-24 and it addresses directly some hardship that I have been going through.
It says that we should consider Christ's suffering when we are thinking of the suffering that we endure. We have not resisted to the point of shedding our blood. And also that God disciplines the ones he loves so that they may share in his holiness. This passage sounds so reasonable and talks directly at the issue. I don't feel the need to interpret much; just relate. It's really refreshing coz its the truth. As a Christian, you will endure hardship, some of it being discipline from God and discipline that he gives to make us share in his holiness. Vs 11 ends by saying something its not fun to go through these times, but the hardship produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
Well earlier in the semester I was having some hardship that I felt I could not bare and Id mentally flip out. I would not let what was happening shape me, I would complain about how tough it was, how not fair it was, how I could just jump out and run from the tough situation, how I was not being rewarded for being in the situation, and how everyone else was to blame.
However, I knew it was all bologna. I was going through a time that was necessary to shape me and I did not like it; so in rebellion I was not going to sit still and take my medicine. Its like the kid who does not want to take the injection and is afraid of the needle; so he flails about and would rather hurt himself way badly and still have their disease than take it. Well as I reasoned this out, I decided it was time to just sit still not say anything and let the toughness and whatever was going on go on. At the end of the whole ordeal, I just could not believe how much peace I felt. How I felt that I had the ability to take on whatever came my way. I felt like a giant but a really calm one. I always want to feel that way. No one dares ask for trouble and hardship (financial, mental, emotional, spiritual or any other) but if this is the way we are best trained, I will be more understanding of my troubles |
The semester is winding down for me.
Lots happened this semester.
I begun my phd program, I went back home to Kenya for Nov, Katee met Dad and Mom, I showed her all the places there are to see, We got engaged while out there! Oh yes Ive been keeping everything out of the journal. It was awesome and it just did it for us big time. I came back so happy and settled; feeling God like never before. Coz I had an awesome time in Kenya constantly praying on what to do and getting an answer. Obeying the answer and seeing it work in real life. Awesome times!!! And it was constant, from the moment I found out that I could not fly through London without a UK visa to the moment I stepped through immigration in Boston, I was just praying receiving answers, believing, obeying and getting results.
I took my stuff back to the house on Dec 3 and decided to go on the UK embassy site. Found out that I ccould not get the visa at the consulate in Boston so I have to go to NYC. But I can only schedule and appointment online and that takes 2 weeks. So talk to Chris later and he finds out I could go to chi-town for a walk in interview. Im thinking Ive got to stop at the international office at my school so that I can get some documents. While there they find out about agents who get you the visa. I get the list call around and settle on Mr Visa. It turns out he is an excellent guy and I get my visa Friday. In the meantime, I confuse myself a bit by going to boston to get my bags so that if I get the visa i fly out of NY but that doesnt work and I go back to Boston. Get to see K one more time and then, Saturday I fly out of Boston. |
Im despicable I tell you!
So much has happened since I last updated this journal and Ill be hard pressed to remember all the entries.
So for now I'll continue as normal and update the journal later.
Today I read Psalm 66:1-12 from our daily bread devotional .
It just stuck me how King David is writing in first person testimony. He is not talking about things that happened in the bible, or things that he was told, he is righting his experience and the experience of his nation. That is so cool.
When he says how awesome are your deeds, its coz his society/community has experienced this mighty deeds. David says, "He turned the sea into dry land, they passed through the waters on foot come, let us rejoice in him." He is talking about an experience that a ton of people experienced and can remember. The 10 commandments and the roar and thunder of the mountain as God descended on it was a common experience for what? 40,000 people? They all knew God for real.
I feel like today, even though in Christian circles there is belief that God does "mighty deeds". There is an step back awe when someone talks about God doing one of this deeds. And more often the step back has a hint of unbelief that makes the person telling the story have to defend it. (Kind of like, "this is unbelievable, tell me the facts some more so that I know this actually is happening"). How cool would it be to have whole groups of people having a common undeniable experience of their God. Does God do that this days? Does he want to do that?
A friend mentioned that wanting that miraculous sign is kind of unbelief. Which I agree to because of the people who wanted a miraculous sign in Jesus' time ( Matthew 12:38 - 47 ) . But there are some believing people in Jesus time who had a collective experience of God that was undeniable ( John 10:37 - 39 .
Im almost done with everything for the semester and so I'll update this space with my Kenya and life updates.Current Mood: accomplished |
| » Kenya Update 1 |
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Day 1
So I arrived in Kenya sunday night without any problems. Long flight, i watched movies and napped some but did not do any work (The space was too small). I zoomed through customs because I am citizen and there were very few Kenyans on the flights so the Kenyans line was short. Plus i spoke in swahili and my 'baggage search' went oh so smoothly :-)
My brother Hector, Sis Annette, Dad and Mom were at the airport to meet me. Annette has lost weight and seems more talkative to me. You can tell hector is used to being the dude around but not in any bad way. Its good to be home, greeted in swahili be friendly 'questions' at customs ...
We hit the road from the airport and are stopped at a police checkpoint. It around 9:20 local time and the police officer shines his torch into the car and looks closely at my brother and I while he looks at the bags in the trunk. After a few minutes he lets us go. My Dad explains that he probably was making sure that my brother and I were not young goons who had hijacked some elder couple. Nairobi at night has had a reputation in the past but the Kibaki government is trying hard to get rid off that image.
I went to my Aunts new house; its awesome. Lots of talk with everyone then with my bro hector before we fall asleep.
Day 2
Get up have an awesome breakfast. I meet a Pastor Mark from the UK who is leading a mission that is building an orphanage in Naivasha (50 miles outside Nairobi)
We go over to another aunts house where a meet my grandmother. We read ephesians 6:1-4 (I think). Very timely it goes children obey you parents. Grandma says everyone is someone else's child so the message is for all. She gives me a huge blessing after we talk about K's upcoming visit and the intro.s to the parents. Everyone agrees that she'll probably be awesome. Oh in Kenya everything is relational. I'm beginning to remember how its done...
Hector headed off to a 7:00 class and Annette goes to her 5:00 at Moi Univ. in Eldoret. We get home Dad goes to work for a while and Mom and I have a great talk. Evening prayer, gifts galore for Dad and Mom and I sleep.
Day 3
I get up at 5:00 and do my thing till 7:00. Breakfast then Im heading into Nakuru to send out emails and buy some stuff. Its really quite being at home in Njoro. I think I'll leave changed quite a bit ... its only day two
Nov. 9th, 2004 @ 02:24 pm
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| » Been Away |
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I haven't been here in a while. But I am back.
Its K's birthday today.
Came back from K2's wedding in Burlington, VT over the weekend. An awesome time.
Today's passage was 1 Corinthians 9:19-27 . Which talks about becoming everything to everyone so that you can win people to Christ. I liked the sound of it because rather than be restricted by a strict code of behavior, when you go to a different place, you enjoy the way people live and relate to their circumstance. He does mention though that he is exempt from God's law.
Will keep updating.
B
Aug. 23rd, 2004 @ 08:15 am
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| » Back in Boston |
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I back from Santa Cruz and boy, oh boy have I had a great 2 weeks. I'll try and update my journal everyday starting tomorrow (2 wednesdays after I left) on how the trip went. Obviously the personal details will be password protected. It will be a good way to chronicle what went on, review it, savour it, and keep track of the lessons I learned.
I'm glad to be back home in Boston with a new lease for life!
ODB' long passage was Psalms 43-45 Acts 27:27-44. In the Act's passage, Paul is a prisoner but he is giving direction based on what he knows as a Christian leader. I think that he has some professy about the fate of the ship and its crew. He seems to have earned the respect of the centurion who is in charge of him because the centurion prevents the soldier from killing him and the other prisoners.
The short passage was about storing treasure in heaven. In todays devotional the author tells a story in which 3 men get to a river bed and are told to pick up pebbles. They are then told not to look at them until the next day and that if they obey they'll be both sad and glad. They do and when they look at the rocks they've changed to precious stones. They are glad but are sad that they did not pick more. The author then says, "I wonder if we will have a similar feeling when we get to heaven. We will be happy for the treasure we laid up in heaven while on earth, and joyful for the rewards Christ will give us. But we will also experience regret for not having done more to serve Him." (Richard De Haan, ODB, 07/27/2004,)
I want to live in a way that I will be least sad when its time for glad
Jul. 27th, 2004 @ 12:11 pm
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| » Love |
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I have a fairly imaginative mind. Imagining things and seeing perceptions into things accurately or not depending on my state of mind and other factors.
It has been disturbing to me to act on a lot of these thought only to discover that my perception of things was wrong. Today, I realized that the truth of 'what is' is not contained in my thought patterns. My mind receives lots of information. However, I need to evaluate this information and decide what to do with it.
My action on information should be quite delayed in most cases so that I can give my self time to ponder what I'm perceiving at any given moment. There are lots of sources that I can check any new idea against. My previous convictions serve as a starting point. New information does not trump all my previous experiences and knowledge. My convictions were probably formed by experiences that were tested and true. There are other sources of information that I need to consider; - the bible (especially the teachings of Jesus) which is the basis of my christian faith.
- My experiences in school and community.
- What other independent viewers would conclude in looking at the current situation
and if I cant tell that, then I can ask colleagues, advisers, mentors, parents, siblings, friends the number of trusted individuals that I could use to figure out the accuracy of the new information I get are many.
Well, I came in today. I plan to - Finish a2 for my class
- Read notes for the XML class
- Do the XML assignment in time for my office hours at 5p today.
I decided to buy DayQuil so that I could medicate until my cold is completely gone.
ODB' long passage was Psalms 7-9 Acts 18. I was struck by the fact that Apollos taught with fervor and accuracy about Jesus even though all he knew was the old testament and the ministry of John the baptist. That was powerful to me because it is a testimony that the scriptures (old testament of the bible) at this point were sufficient proof to preach about Jesus. I normally don't have the gusto to read the old testament as much as the new testament. In most of the long passages ODB gives I tend to read the new testament passage.
The short passage was about love. I need to understand this to the max. There is a powerful statement there for anyone which says, 'Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love'. I would like to know more about how to love.
I havent talked to K in days and I realize how much I am spoilled. I leave tomorrow if all goes well.
Jul. 13th, 2004 @ 09:42 am
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| » Relaxed Saturday |
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I'm feeling a little bit better today.
I think I slept around 14 hour in the last 24 hours(Horray to Niquile (sp)).
Maybe today I'll do the XML homework and grade a few things and prepare the assignments for next week when I'm away in California.
I talked to Zachs and Mathe last night and things went alright.
Talked to K till 1p.
Just wrote her my longest email.
Its Arlene's birthday! Called her missed her but sung on the answering machine. Dont worry folks I'm not alone in this my friend D does it all the time on people answering machines. Nice toucht D.
Have begun teaching in comp20. Its awesome, my confidence level up there could not be greater, it feels just right.
Got some time to work on research beforet he next meeting. I should manage my California time well so that I'm not swamped as the semester winds down. I dont know whether I should prepare today or have a weekend.
Maybe a weekend!
Today Our Daily Bread passage was Mark 12:18-27 . About the question of marriage at the resurrection and I loved it.
Jul. 10th, 2004 @ 03:45 pm
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| » Dry throat |
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I'm feeling like I have a parched throat and a cold is coming on. Mk was sick in the house yesterday, I hope I did not catch anything from him. Coz I have to teaching tommorrow.
Today dev was about not putting your trust in money ( Matthew 6:19-24). I read that yesterday too in Job's exposition on why he was alright.
Job's is answered by a young dude about not knowing God's ways so he cant say that he is cool even if he did what was ok. Paul and barnabas are preaching in Icornium. A miracle causes the local guys to insist they are God's which distresses them so bad, the rush into the crowd to stop them. But then some guys from Antioch arrive, start trouble, Paul gets stoned and left for dead. I'd never read that after 'But after the disciples had gathered around him, he got up and went back into the city' is when he got up. This was some serious Christian community, its not just the big names praying and stuff happens the community too! Also their courageous and bold teaching is backed up by enabling them to do miracles. Goes to conversation the Guys had about some of the boldness seen today appearing weird to them.
Jul. 6th, 2004 @ 12:30 pm
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| » Awesome 5th of July |
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So today's stuff was awesome and I'm not even done reading it. I took K to the airport but she missed her flights boarding cut of for time by 35 seconds. We stayed in line and then she got a direct flight instead of having to change over and wait 2 hours in Chicago.
I went to the R families place bcoz K's car needed to be used and so I was dropped off at the bus station but I had forgotten my wallet. I walked home in a slight and occasional drizzle but when I got home I did could not get on the American Airlines site to find out which flight she went on so that I can call her parents and tell them the flight number and stuff. After fiddling with the internet connection, I go upstairs and thankfully K's computer is working. So I get on the AA site but I type San Diego instead of San jose and so I get this weird 145 flight that is the only possible one on the list she could have got on in Boston. Well I call her family home and tell D that she's coming at 1:45 and ... I dont know the flight number? Feeling very cheesy right now. Well, he says, 'There can't be too many flights from Chicago to San jose, We will find her.' I immediately jump on the net again and find the right flight. I call back less than a minute later and relate the right info and he says, 'What happened to the 1:45?' and I'm like I was looking at the wrong thing. He says ok and hang's up as I hear a chorus of laughs in the background.
Well, I'm sitting there feeling very cheesy and messed up. Then I read Hebrews 12:25-13:6 And the commentary from ODB says that half the things we worry about dont have eternal significance and so in the grand scheme we should not worry about them. In a few minutes I'm feeling good.
Then I begin reading their bible one year piece and I normally I'm attracted to the New Testament passage but I feel bad (funny bad not guilty bad) about skipping the Old testament passage so I read it and its Job 30 -31 and I am awed. Basically this is the end of the book of Job in the bible. Job was a wealthy guy, who loved God and God bragged about him to Satan. Well satan says its coz the guy is so successful and healthy and so God says no you can take everything except the dudes life and he'll still root for me. I guess anyone can figure out the kind of mayhem that would ensue for the poor dude. But just incase we have overactive imaginations brought on by sci-fi movies the actual acount of what happens is the book of Job.
Well the reason I was awed, is coz Job has had it and is finally saying look, I did all that was required of me. So if anyone has anything to accuse me of, lay it bare up until this point I've done everything from kind deads, to avoiding illicit pleasures, to guarding his heart from desiring anything else than his God. Basically, the guy says I've done this things always! In a day when perfection is deemed as impossible this is an awesome statement. I haven't read the new testament piece for today but this is enough juice for the day.
So I just finished reading today's NT piece and its the one that in one place it talks about all the laws and how people were not able to fulfill them and the alternative. What a complete message today. Job seems to have been the freak of nature in obedience but the New Testament passage shows that we dont need to be freaks of nature in obeying to get God's approval we just recieve God's approval by accepting his son Jesus as the substitute who had the perfect life our stead then died for all the wrong things that we do. All we need to do is heartfeltly accept that penalty and come to God without worry that we are messed up ... well I've just explained my understanding. The original statement is cool though.
Jul. 5th, 2004 @ 11:39 am
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| » Today's Devotion |
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So todays Daily Bread reading was 1 Peter 2:1-10
The main points I learn were:
- Like a new born I should crave pure spiritual milk
- Rid myself of 'all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind'
- I'm being built like 'being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ'. The whole idea of offering spiritual gifts that area acceptable to God is awesome! and is worth the idea of submitting to being built.
- The passage then goes on to talk about Christ as being a precious stone to me because I believe in him. While people who don't he is not; because the message that Christ brings causes them to stumble
- The passage concludes by saying that once I was not part of a 'people' but now I am. Which gives me hope about people receiving the message too.
Jul. 4th, 2004 @ 12:32 pm
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| » Resolution |
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I woke up today really late coz I decided to sleep all the mental fatigue off. I woke up sent a note to K and started feeling really good. I realized that there was no more need to wait coz I don't enjoy life when my spiritual stuff is not right.
I decided to make the decision that my spiritual life would be good. I decided to give up other stuff and just press forward forget the season, its hardships ... everything. I've had enough misery and boredom and now I want to have the real thing. So I'm just simply going to believe.
The one other step, I decided on is that the bible say how Christian's should do. I'll start reading that believing it and living it afresh. Rather than having opinions and rationale. I'll also continue to invite God's Holy Spirit into my life daily and see what happens.
I feel good already and I can't wait to grow.
B
Jul. 3rd, 2004 @ 12:55 pm
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| » Today's Passage |
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I Read some really interesting things in Acts 12 .
- Vs.1-2 James (as in James and John son's of zebedee) arrested and beheaded and beheaded. This is some serious penalty for your faith.
- Vs.3-17 Peter arrested and set for the same fate. Guarded by sixteen and chained. And Miraculous escape.
There are some very serious things to note here.
- Herod is just slaying people at a whim
- The church knows that there is trouble and they are earnestly praying. This is in serious contradiction to some of the indifference I feel about issues I am asked to pray about
- An actual angel appears to Peter and leads him miraculously out of the prison (chains fall off, walking past guards, doors opening by themselves ...). Peter thinks its a vision. Basically visions have become so common that when something weird is happening, Peter assumes its a vision?
- Peter arrives at John Mark's mother's house where people are together praying and the girl at the gate doesn't let him in. She runs tells the rest and they think "its his angel". The miraculous is so common here that people assume oh its his angel. What's the difference between the church then and now? Forget about thinking of 'the church'. Could I envision having this kind of faith and not thinking that I was going funny? Yeah I think it is possible. I know it's all God's working and no one else can make it happen. But I can believe that I could believe this much as a Christian today.
- In vs 17, Herod has the guards executed. It was a tough gig being a guard back then.
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Then Herod goes to talk to some people he has been quarreling with and he must have had the speech of his life coz they say, 'This is the voice of a god, not of a man.'. The verse then sayz coz the guy did not give God credit, an angel strike him dead! You've got to say the guy had it coming with the way he was slaying people but still the last straw seems to be that the guy accepted the term of being a god. I think for me it would be giving credit to god for when he would give me any insight that I'd share.
Jul. 3rd, 2004 @ 12:25 pm
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| » Weekend Update |
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I did some good reflections about relationships with people on sunday. Some reality checks vs me checks. Did some goal setting/intentionality exercise for the summer.
Im back to a good sized chunk of work this week. Finished grading hw1 will post the grades ASAP.
Grading hw2,3, Redesigning the assignments for comp20, and summer institute. Not to forget the weekly meetings with Lenore got to read the book.
Tried to talk to Dad but we had a really bad connections so I'll try again.
Did a personal entry, I think I'll set up a friends entry too but may not do it since many people wont log in
Jun. 21st, 2004 @ 03:13 pm
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| » Renewal Reflections |
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So I am in the shower today and I start thinking ... yes I said "thinking" thats what has been bugging me these past weeks. Thinking about stuff, my school work, what I should do, what I shouldn't, relationship and then a whole lot of analysis of my environment, interactions with everyone, relationship with God, and my current living situation.
I think analysis makes me the authority on things looking down at the situations. In this role I have a very critical eye. I'm able to see everything that is going on and point out where it went wrong. I see where it went right sometimes but my critical eye views this as normal. The things that I do right are the norm, getting everything done in time this busy summer is the normal thing to do while being only a little bit prepared for a meeting is not acceptable because I could have prepared proper.
After this mind wringing, I come out either wanting to step up my involvement at trying to achieve ideals or dismayed at my failings in certain areas. None of which is quite constructive. I tend to want to step up so much that at that level of activity I will soon wear out or become so one sided that the transition from work-work-work mode to isolation mode is too hard to make. On the other hand dismay at my own assessed "dismal" performance is something that I have to fight off. I cant accept a negative analysis of my life as my own. I cant accept that this is who I am, that this is my lot. For if I do my motivation goes really low and enjoyment drops 'like a rock'.
So last week monday, I decided not to think about it at all. I had the busiest schedule I've had in about a year and so I'd just get to it. As B put it my goal was to become an automaton . I would just receive the tasks that I had to do as input and then do them as time allowed. There would be no thinking about time constraints, no performance critiques from the critical B just good attendance and plain old engagement with the task at hand. That worked quite well since I had lots of things to do and no time to reflect and be critical.
Then yesterday my schedule slacked just a little bit and I had a more relaxed day at home working on research and teaching prep. Well the little time that I had away from activity became self evaluating time as to whether I was using it well. So I felt like I violated the urge to put in extra effort and it affected my attitude. I felt like a rebel and by the time I was talking to K in the evening, I had a general negative vibe about the activities for the day.
While insight and self reflection is good, I think I need to reign in my tendency to over do it.
this posting is meant for my general log accessible from my site
bwangia's general log
Jun. 17th, 2004 @ 07:55 am
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| » Summer's On |
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I have neglected this journal for a while.
I moved over the weekend and have been working to update my contacts. Sent out an email today, telling everybody about my graduation and move. Got congratulations from S, A, G and M. Thats awesome.
I also bought my graduation gown and other stuff.
I woke up today a little bit out of it off soughts. Kept thinking about my future plans and whether I had taken the right steps up to this point. Which is kind of ridiculous to question coz I've done ok logically and opportunities have opened up that I did not even dare think about this year.
Came in to the Web job and did some work on the m project. Got the first site online. I need to set up a site to highlight my efforts and get collaborator c on board to manage stuff.
Spiritually, I feel like I am going back to the basic of my faith. Not being the one who knows so much as being shown some and in need of so much more showing. Its great and workable and I think this is how it was designed to work. The moment I decide that I am the possessor of some understanding of some topic, the topic seems lost to me. I think that in the end God's truths stand independent of me and I can only experience something then tell someone about it. Its obvious to me that I can't change or even make this knowledge understandable to anyone. Only God can. If He wants to say something to someone and He wants to use me to say it, then he does and I see someone respond. But in the end they respond to God and not to anything I say. Its never about the messenger its about the message and the source of the message. The messenger can run fast to deliver the message or he can slack but either way the sender of the message (read God) is watching over his message and will explain it to the people he is sending it to. If I as the messenger pick up my own messages and agendas along the way, the recipients reject those overtures because the message is suspect and not from the sender.
In addition God does not need me to send the message. He has lots of messenger and can call up even more. When he choses to have me deliver any message, I should be grateful to be chosen and not get over myself for being the messenger or even the recipient of the message.
I was thinking that maybe I could start running to the gym, workout and get my summer workout schedule going. Will report successes and failure to this space
May. 18th, 2004 @ 02:05 pm
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| » Working ... or Not |
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I've been having this big conversations about faith in christ and the requirements of following christ.
Almost all Christians agree that you cannot do enough good deeds to warrant God's favor, attention, approval. Its just not possible ... You get your acceptance before God by believing in his son Jesus. Your good actions have no place in establishing this relationship.
However, when I do the wrong thing, or the not the best thing why is there a feeling that I can not be as confident about relating to God. My good deeds dont win me audience why should bad deeds deny me (even if its just the confidence factor) audience with the almighty?
I'm still reading on this and so I'll get back to writting when I've read and thought a lot more about these implications.
I finished grading for my class yesterday and did some wangia work both today and yesterday.
Went swimming again yesterday and I can feel myself becoming more comfortable in the water. I knew how to swim once and so this should not be that tough once I get to it.
May. 12th, 2004 @ 12:18 pm
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